How To Preserve Their Virginity

Sarah is a sixteen year-old teenager battling with changing female body parts and raging hormones. Her father, a disciplinarian with no equal, would flog her for even dare smiling with a boy. Her mother on the other hand is a serious religious woman, who's no longer in-tune with modern-day realities. “You will burn in hell-fire if you have sex before marriage”. She would often warn the sad irritated girl.

Hey, if you have a teenage daughter and you're  reading this please stop trying to scare her  away from sex — that s*** doesn't work, at least not anymore. Trust me I'd know. But someone may say, “What does he really know? It's not like he has any child of his own”. Well, do you have to be chef to be a good cook? or a carpenter to fix a broken chair? No you don't. All you need are lots of practice and experience. And with regards to this particular issue, I think I've enough of both.

I worked as a teacher for more than seven years, and during that period I had the privilege to counsel and mentor lots of teenagers; many of whom were girls. I think there's something about me that made it quite easy for them to confide in me. Am guessing is the face. Lol 

One of the very first lessons I learnt is that trying to scare teenage girls away from sex does not work. To be honest, I did it myself but that was when I didn't know any better. The truth is, trying to make the word 'sex' look as dirty, evil and abominable as possible, only increases their curiosity and appetite for it. Come to think of it: this approach didn't work on Eve either. 😐

Also, I learnt that treating them like ignorant babies when it comes to sex related matters annoys them like crazy and makes it almost impossible for them to ask you any questions they might have about sex. For instance, you are all watching a movie in the sitting room and they're about to kiss, but you quickly picked up the TV remote and forward the kissing part because your teenage daughter is watching with you. Like seriously? I am guessing she probably knows more than you do so stop kidding yourself. Lol

So, what is the best way to prevent a teenage girl from having sex until she's ready? After all,  telling them to simply abstain from sex no longer seems to be an effective approach. Well, here is your answer — give them a goal  to pursue! I told most of the girls I had the opportunity to mentor to keep themselves  until they get to 300 level at the University, and when they do get there, they may on their own freewill decide to extend it. 

I do a little follow-up on some of these girls I've offered this advice, and what I discovered is that, even though several years have passed, most of them are still sticking to the plan. Some are presently at the University and they are still virgins.

So, why does this approach work where erstwhile has failed? Well, it's quite simple really — the goal is attainable! Telling her to wait until she gets married is just too vague and seems too difficult to achieve. She starts thinking to herself, “When will I get married? Will I ever get married? Does that mean I'd never have sex?”. But telling her to wait until she gets to 300 level at the University doesn't seem that far away. “I'm already in S. S. 3 so 3 or 4 years from now, all things being equal I should already be in 300 L” she says to herself. And because the target is so within reach, she's motivated, determined, poised. 

As times change, we must be willing to adopt new strategies to deal with the constant issues of life. It is my opinion that the reason why the number of virgins have gone down rapidly in recent years, is not because people have become more promiscuous, but rather because we in our approach to helping every Sarah out there, have failed to evolve in our strategies in helping them.