What Might Have Been

Should the inability to have children in a marriage be a deal breaker? Is that what marriage is all about – procreation? Is it okay not to settle down with someone who understands you and makes you happy; someone with whom you connect and have peace of mind; someone you know will improve your life in every way? Is it right to break-up with them just because you find-out that they may likely be unable to reproduce? 

The advancement in Science and Technology has made it possible for people to have children without having to go through the natural means of procreation. Today, there is in-vitro fertilization and surrogacy. And also not forgetting the option of adopting a child. But these options all come with their own challenges. For instance, how many people can really afford IVF? And most families are not so welcoming of adopted children; especially when they know that their own son or daughter is not the one who is unable to bear children but the other partner. 

Life is made-up of crossroads that can alter the course of one’s life forever, and the choice of who to marry is one of such crossroads. But like in the TV series, ‘The Last Kingdom’, Utred, the main character in the movie, while responding to the Lady of Mercia, whom he loved so dearly, on whether he had any regrets with regards to the path he had chosen for himself? He said, “I have dreamt of us as a family, and a happy one. But even through that happiness, in my dreams, I never cease worrying that we have made the wrong choice. That is the curse of life – to think of what might have been”. 

Indeed, the curse of life is to think of what might have been. Because in the end, whatever choice we make, a part of us will always think about the road not taken. We would always think of what might have been. 

So, whoever you are, think carefully before you make that all important decision of who to spend the rest of your life with. Because once you make that decision, once you cross that line, there is really no going back. And while I am yet to decide at the moment if my future happiness is worth mortgaging for the pride of beholding my own seeds; I know I will be ready to live with the consequences of my decision when I do eventually make up my mind.